If you...

Decide to steal your friend's phone
Or change the lock code on your friend's phone
Or send another student in class 100 texts (literally)

I will use the phrase "You are pissing me off."

Not my best moment. But true.

uh oh

This is what happens when you try to open your broccoli forcefully and without a scissors.  All I wanted was a snack.

a new name

Or another saga in the life of teenage boys.  I have some lovely students every morning and one of the things they "aren't allowed to do" is call one another by the name of the girl the other one is interested in.  Mainly I say it's not allowed because one of the girls is in the class and seriously, how embarrassing.  Oh yes, and these three also fake "crack their voice" to make fun of one another when it actually happens.

So after we had that conversation the other day about being disruptive (read: you're pissing me off so stop it), they generally stopped but just couldn't hold it in at the end of class.  And called me Jake.  And then decided they were going to start calling all of their teachers by their significant others' names.  I just rolled my eyes and told them they were annoying.

However, I will say that at least they're using names which is more than I can say for the other blogs that I read.  What is with the recent obsession of calling their husbands "hubs"??  It.drives.me.crazy.  At first it was like, "Oh, clever, I guess..." but then I see it 100 times in print and I end up with the following conclusions:  A. He has a name. You could just use that.  B. We probably know that name because we read your blog every day. C. It's definitely the new "cool" word to use.  It's okay if you disagree.  This annoyance gets filed under the tab of hating when people use acronyms like "GBR" or shorten things to "ppl, pry, ikr, lol, prolly, gonna" etc.

First class

Well, I went to my first English grad class on Wednesday.  Here were my observations so far:

1. I'm glad it waited to get "freeze-your-face-off" cold until I had to walk across campus for the first time in 5 years.  I only said the f word 5 times.  As a positive, I still remember where all of the heat grates are on campus so you can get that burst of hot hair flying at you every 20 feet or so.  It makes the walk bearable.  Almost. I mean the wind still brought tears to my eyes and like I said, it still induced me to swear.

2.  It was your standard fare of grad students in the class.  You had your token foreign student, your token one guy, your token overly-enthusiastic and academically pretentious Ph.D student who thought EVERYTHING was so interesting and then your token I-know-I'm-not-going-to-care-for-you-because-you-think-you're-really-smart-and-I-think-you're-only-23, very abrasive girl as well.

3.  What I just found out on email is that the latter student is going to be my partner for our group presentation.  Isn't life funny?  So now I'm going to have to get to know her and stop judging her after only 3 hours of class.  At least we're both interested in the same topic:  children's theatrical productions and other literary works from the 19th century.  Maybe she'll be nicer than I thought.  Or maybe I'll have to hold my tongue every time I want to make a snotty comment about her Master's in "creative writing."  Bleh.

4. I really love my professor so far.  Granted, she did come to class wearing a very large sweater with a dragon woven on the front but she seems pretty lovely despite that.  And yes, I also assessed the rest of my classmates and determined that 80% of them probably needed some form of a makeover.  I mean, we get it, you're smart.  I like being smart, too.  But this girl still runs a brush through her hair and puts on mascara and concealer every day.  And doesn't wear cargo capris with her boots when it's negative 45 out.  Or ever for that matter.

5. Who knew people could know so much about so much crap?  And I'm saying that in an awed sort of way, not in a disgusted kind of way.  I'm kind of inspired.  But that will probably go away as I continue to read for 12 hours a week or more.  I think I should quit my job and become a professional student like the rest of them.

So there you have it. Oh yes, and I learned quite a bit already.  But I blog about the things that fly into my head that I probably shouldn't say out loud to people I don't know.  Thus, you have my commentary on physical attributes as well as my snobby digressions.  I already used all of my good thoughts about wet-nurses and the human's innate ability to love in class, ok?  Oh yeah, and a few comments about the horrific practice of swaddling in the 17th century.  I'm getting my full 10% credit of participation!  So take that, clicky Ph.D students.

Oh one more thing.  I also made it quite clear that I hate the nursery rhyme, "Jack and Jill".  We read it in class and discussed its origin and how everyone still knows it even though it's so old.  I chimed in  about how it gets sung to me often and how many people ask me where Jack is.  Or if they find out I'm dating a Jake, you can almost guarantee they're going to say something incredibly clever such as, "Ohhh!  Jake and Jill! Like Jack and Jill!  Did he fetch a pail of water yet?"  I generally courtesy laugh at that and say expletives in my head.

Hey, Ash or Patterz

If you wanted to paint me these, I wouldn't mind.  Or teach me how to do it.  But I think the former would be less annoying for you...

Images taken from here.  (And in case you were wondering how I'm blogging during work, it's my reward when I get something done while they're taking a massive quiz.)

I want a typewriter

And I have no idea why but I want one.  And then I want to type letters on it and send them to people.  Because it sounds fun.  And I'll probably wear my glasses and drink some coffee while I do so.  I'm inspired:

Pictures from here.  And you should sign up for that site.  (Ahem, Tabitha and Ashley.)

You be the judge

We did some projects about what everyone did over their break and then they had to present them.  I'll translate to English and then you decide what kind of student this is, female or male, and then what his/her extracurricular activities are based on what he/she wrote about.  Here goes:

I got a purse for Christmas.
I drank Diet Coke.
I went to Panera.
I talked to my friends on the phone.
I went to the nail salon.

Ok, now guess...

Did you guess superstar basketball player?  No?
Ok, I'll just tell you because you'll never get it.  Yes, it's a girl.  Yes, she's  a cheerleader.  Yes, she's super cute. And yes, she's a little spoiled.  Hahahaha.  For some reason, the whole thing just made me laugh.

Lindsey Adams--did you join my Spanish class and I didn't know it???

Feliz Navidad!

Ok, so I know it's late but this is me (duh) modeling my new apron from my sweet cousin, Victoria, and of course, that shiny red thing is my new Kitchenaid mixer from Yake.  (As Ashley likes to refer to Jake.)

I.love.it.  Like probably more than I should.  And eventually I should stop making exclamatory remarks every time I use it.  Which is every 3 days or so.  

P.s. I 'm not only wearing the apron...there's a dress on underneath, it just looks vair vair short due to the apron bunching it up.  I would never be sans clothes in my apartment...hahahahaha.  

I'm THAT teacher

That makes one of her most annoying (and obnoxiously disruptive) students sit by his girlfriend in class.  She got moved to his section but she was gone today and he was complaining that it was his assigned seat, next to her.  To which I replied, "Well, perhaps she'll keep you under control."  And then he complained that it would be awkward if they broke up.  I agreed but made no promises to switch him.  I'll try anything at this point.  Oh yeah, and I also think it's funny.

a thought from 2 weeks ago

Why do I always wait til the "way past expiration date/this is morbidly disgusting/it may be a forest" time to shave my legs?  Anyone else?  Just me?  To be fair to myself, it's a little difficult to do so in my shower.  But in the spirit of fairness, I also have a roommate who would let me use her shower anytime to accomplish said task.  Therefore, some reminders for 2012 in the area of shaving my legs:

1. Do not wait until it hurts to put on leggings.  Srsly, Jill.  Be a lady.
2. No amount of fancy shaving cream or razors will entice you to do so more often so stop buying them.  General shower gel and the pink daisy razors will always be your best bet.  Remember that.
3. If you can see the hair on your legs without bending over, it's past the due date.  Waaaay past.
4. As an addendum to #3, if you can also see that it can lay different directions based on where your socks were, it's too long.
5. It doesn't actually keep you warmer.  You're just lazy.

You know what I don't get the most?  How I can be so anal-retentive about never letting the towel that touches my body ever touch my face but in the general area of leg and nail hygiene I'm a total scurve.  It's a word.  I think.

Hi, again, bloggy friends!

Yes, it's been like a million years.  So sorry.  Really I am.  But well...life happened.  And some of it was good and some of it wasn't and work in general was just a general "let's pretend first semester didn't happen" kind of situation.   But alas, it's  a new year and new semester (but sadly not new students) and here we are again.

I've had many moments where I've thought, "Ah! I should blog about that!"  But then I don't.  I'm going to work on that this semester.  I'm guessing it will help that I don't have rehearsal every day after school.  However, I did decide to take a grad class for the first time during my working months, so that could be interesting.  I'm pretty excited about it.  It's called "19th Century British Children's Literature" to which my sister replied upon hearing about it, "Oh wow.  I'd rather drink cat pee."  Thankfully, I do not share her sentiments.

Now you may be thinking, "What does that have to do with Spanish?"  It doesn't.  Nor does it have to do with teaching.  Well, not really.  Or rather, not yet.  I'm taking it to see if I'd like to pursue a Master's or Doctoral degree in English.  And then maybe teach English. Or not. Or change jobs. Or stay at my current one doing both.  Who knows?  It's quite a ways off and I don't apply until next January of 2013 (where they accept around 20 of 200 I might add), so we'll see.  But I do know that I want to further my education because I'm nerdy like that, and unlike my sister, it does not make me want to ingest feline urine.  Rather quite the opposite.  I actually had a difficult time choosing a class because so many of them made me excited.  P.s. Ask me how cool I think this class is after I write and read my eyeballs out every week...that will be the true test.

So then, it's back to school.  And apparently the trade off for not having rehearsal anymore is giving up almost every Saturday for the next 2 months for show choir competitions.  What in the...Guess I'll have lots to blog about regarding sequins, bad dance moves, and overly enthusiastic show choir kids in the very near future...