Ingrid

I want to be your friend.

Happy is the heart that still feels pain
Darkness drains and light will come again
Swing open your chest and let it in
Just let the love, love, love begin

She's a smart lady. We're seeing her in concert next month and I'm excited.  I don't know how she continues to write things that make me say, "Oh, me too!"  But I think that's what they call the beauty of music.

House!

In the last two months, I went from this:  (at my parents)










to THIS!



And now I am officially all moved in!  I was reluctant to say anything about it until all of the papers were signed because I was terrified the bank or someone evil would call and say, "Oh actually, you can't buy that."  Because I'm crazy like that.  And it partly feels too good to be true.  Because it is.  If you could be in love with your house, I am totally smitten.  The kitchen is a dream and it just makes me smile every time I'm in it.  If I could have designed one, it likely would have looked like this one.  
Yes, I'm still in the twitterpated phase and the facts are this:  built in 1943, my commute to work will be amazing thanks to quick access to highway 77, my neighbors are charming (thus far) and it actually inspires me to ride a bike--which I haven't done since I fell off of one in Japan 6 years ago.  It's the right amount of "done" and still areas that I can improve or change.  I've already painted my living room, fireplace, and front door.  And have plans to rip out all of those bushes as soon as my dad decides to do that for me.  :)  
Buying a house for myself was never something I planned on and to be quite honest, this entire past year was nothing I had planned.  But sometimes the best parts of life happen where you least expect them to, or rather, right alongside pain comes something lovely.  So all that to be said, after one of the most difficult semesters of my life in ALL areas (don't you love it when all things suck all at the same time?), this has been a welcome plus in my world.  People have asked me if I'm scared to live by myself and I always think that's a funny question.  Because no, I am not scared to physically live in this house by myself.  I'm not a worrier of those kinds of things.  I worry about being a cat lady in this house forever, but not about being burglarized or something--rationality at its finest, friends. 
So with the interwebz officially hooked up, I plan to return to the blogging world.  It also helps that I'm taking lots of stupid class this summer and my favorite way to procrastinate is to blog.  Which is what is happening right now as I have 2 of my 8 assignments completed that are due tomorrow.  (I just got them today so it's not as bad as it sounds.)  
One more thing:  almost every day I ask myself, "Who in the world let you buy a house?"  And that's usually after I do something really dumb like try to wash oil-based paint off a roller with my HANDS--and get paint on everything, or not even know which way to put in my furnace filter. (Thanks, Kroekers!)  Or lock myself out fairly regularly.  (My dad made me hide a key before we even entered the house.  The man knows me well.)  But all that to be said, I'm a homeowner and officially poor!  And it feels pretty great.  :)  

I may have cried

The back of a senior picture message...in the midst of the craziness that is the end of the school year, this pretty much made my week.  Especially since boy students don't usually tend to be effusive in their praise.

Cinco de Mayo birthday cake!

As always, my dear friend, Jenny (who I like to call Jelly, from an ill-fated flower delivery one time), always has a birthday on Cinco de Mayo.  This year she smartly decided to celebrate said birthday with a progressive dinner.  Being as I don't currently have a home to progress to until the end of the month, I offered to make the birthday cake and bring it over.  Here it is in all its glory:

A few things to note about this cake:

1. Got the recipe from my trusted go-to baking blog, Annie's Eats.  Recipe is here.  

2. While I love everything that she posts and it always turns out great, she likes to misuse the terms "simple", "few pans" and "pantry staples."  Those are not true.  It took me 5 bowls, a lot of extra things I don't have on hand (ahem, bittersweet chocolate and whipping cream--dear goodness, I'm glad I don't have those on a regular basis...).  And it was simple in the fact that it followed any normal cake recipe, which I've obviously done before, but I wouldn't try this for your first time out.  One other complaint--she made this as her "BACK-UP DESSERT."  Who is the swear word has a back-up dessert?  Lots of dollars and time later, I'll stick with the one, thank you.

3. The cake came out of the pan quite nicely, which was a huge accomplishment for me.  I think the butter mixed with cocoa, brushed on with a pastry brush was a good combo.  

4. My only other comment is that it makes WAY more ganache than you need--and the ganache has a pretty bittersweet taste so for those of you liking something sweeter, use sweeter chocolate.  

5. And finally, be prepared to quote "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" like crazy when using a bundt cake recipe.  "There's a hole in this kek, Mari!" "Bun? Bunnn? Bunnnnt?"  "Ah, you fixed it!"  If only I had a flower pot to put in the middle...

check done

It's the running joke that any time we get done with something at school, Wes (who directs everything with me) and I call my mom to tell her, "Check, done." 

This weekend was another one of those.  We put on Elton John's Aida and although I'm very glad to have that 'check and done', it was a really great show.  It's rare that I get really moved by performances, mainly because I do so many of them throughout the year.  But Saturday night was an exception and you could have found me in the sound booth at any moment crying my eyes out.  If you've never seen the show, it's a beautiful and tragic Egyption love story, much like Romeo and Juliet but with a twist and reallly fun music to boot. 

Let's keep in mind that we do a lot of shows at Norris and they always go pretty well and are highly attended, etc. because we have a really supportive community.  But Saturday night was just...different.  The set wasn't that crazy or anything like that, but we had some performances where for the first time I thought to myself, "Oh my goodness.  They really get it."  And after watching them do this and seeing that, especially after what will most likely go down as one of the hardest years in my teaching/personal life, it was so emotional for me.  It was also fun to watch one of our sophomores, who has talent bigger than she realizes, perform in a lead role that I didn't think was possible.  At the end of it, she cried, I cried, and then I thought to myself, "Jill, you need to remember moments like this because this is why you do what  you do."

So as I'm writing this blog and not working on my overwhelming paper, I'm trying to remind myselfof that.  I had a long conversation with some of my students prior to this show weekend about why we do what we do in the performing world.  In the end, it's not the recognition or the literal and figurative drama that always comes with things like this.  Art in any form is about connecting with yourself and others.  And I was reminded this weekend that theatre in any way, shape, or form for me is my way to do that.  It's how God made me.  And it was really nice to know that it's still the part of me that comes alive even in the midst of feeling so unlike myself for the past few months. 

Thanks for reading this post that seems more like my journal I guess.  My journal that I spilled water all over last week.

follow up

Because I'm finally allowing my brain to process a few things:

1. Sometimes I wonder why weird things happen to me at a seemingly higher rate than most people.  But then I think, "Who cares?" Maybe weird things happen because I find the humor in them. And there are some weeks when you need more humor than others.  I think this is one of them.

2. Since Saturday, a lot has happened and keeping with the theme of my life is weird, here it is (and I write it down to remind myself/find the good and humor in it):
*Katie unexpectedly found an apartment on Saturday afternoon.  They said that if I moved out by the first of the month, we wouldn't have to pay double rent.  So that left me a week to move all my s.  Except not really, because I leave for Branson for 4 days with 50 high school students starting today.  So naturally, I decided, oh yeah, I can do that.
*I figured we could move out when I got back from that trip. I got to work on Monday and my mom tells me we have to move that night.  Because they're gone all weekend moving my sister and I'm gone, etc.  So we move.  Fyi, NONE of my stuff was packed.  Thankfully, Ashley, the tetris packer, helped this cause.  And my mom, with her "let's get it done as fast as possible" attitude and my brother and his bulkiness.
*I had a giant bibliography and prospectus due for my final project in my English class, well, yesterday.  She gave me an extension with the comment, "Wow, when it rains, it pours in your life, Jill.  You should take more time to turn it in.  I don't mind at all."  **Side note, I have an academic crush on my English professor.  I love her so much.

So to sum up, before I turn 28, I thought I'd move all my crap home and live with my parents while I continue to look for houses.  I forgot the part where I'm supposed to teach and direct 2 shows currently.  :)  Thankfully, that is all starting to feel like old hat so it's not too big of a deal.

P.S. Every morning so far since Monday, I yell down to my mom and say, "Hey!  do you know where my pants/suitcase/etc. are?"  Thankfully, she usually does.

too funny not to post

And a little too risque to make a Facebook status out of it (I need to clean out some of the school moms that are friends with me...)

Anyway, we could call yesterday "a day where the male species says weird things to me."

Example 1(As you may have read on Facebook):  My male students decide to take a survey of the brand of underwear they're wearing and report the results when I return from the bathroom.  We're talking I was gone for 5 minutes tops.  So strange.  The brands were BVD, Fruit of the Loom, Wal-Mart, etc. in case you were wondering.  Because I certainly wasn't but got told anyway.

Example 2:  I ran to Journey's to get some new casual shoes before I head to Branson today with show choir.  First of all, I bought Van's at Journey's.  What is this, 1995?  Because that's the last time I bought a pair.  And they were navy.  This pair is gray.  And I love them.  As soon as I walk in, the male salesclerk is dancing away and tells me I should join him.  I just kind of look at him but he keeps persisting until I finally shake my shoulder a bit to shut him up.  Then I'm trying on shoes (that he didn't get for me, the other girl did because he was too busy dancing) and we have this conversation (and yes I remember every word, thank you, brain):

Guy:  So can I ask you a question?
Me: Um, sure.
Guy:  So like, you're a girl. What kind of shades do you think Justin Bieber wears?
Me: What do you mean?  Or why, I guess?
Guy:  You know the Q, right?  Like the Q bar?
Me:  Yes, I know what you're talking about.
Guy:  Well, so like, I strip there on Thursday nights, and tomorrow night I want to go all out as Justin Bieber!
Me:  Oh...okay. (And then, WHY, why do I do this with strangers??) Well, you should probably wear a hoodie and skinny jeans and he likes the color purple.
Guy:  Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.  I have skinny jeans and high tops.  So like, maybe aviators?
Me:  Yeah, that would work.

I DON'T KNOW WHICH IS WORSE:  the fact that he was just asking his customer about this out of the blue or THAT I GAVE HIM TIPS!  So if you want to go the Q tonight, he'll be there.  And ladiez...he's straight. And creative, apparently.  I'll be in Branson so I can't track him down this week.  Bummer.  Later he also told me my shoes looked really good (I mean, they're cute, they're Vans, but trust me, they don't look "really good") and then I make some comment under my breath about how I hope I don't look too young.  And he hears it and then exclaims that I can't be older than 22 (ahem, thank you ego-boost) and I say, "Nope, I'm a high school teacher and I'd prefer to not look totally like them."  He doesn't believe me for a good 5 minutes and again I'm left wondering, WHY DO I TALK TO STRANGERS??  I apparently missed the lesson on stranger danger way back when.  It makes me think of when I bought a 2 year subscription to Latina magazine from a guy in the Super Saver parking lot because I couldn't say no.

Example 3:  Katie and I grabbed some dinner last night and as soon as our waiter comes up, he just says, "Hey, how's it going!" really familiar-like and then I have that moment of, "Oh crap, am I supposed to know you?"  And then he says, "Oh sorry, I thought it would be fun if I pretended like I knew you."  And then I don't want him to feel awkward so I continue conversation with him.  WHAT is my problem?  I think I need therapy.

Mini marker boards

Are always a good way to review.  But you generally have to preface the activity with these directions:

1. Don't color in the whole board with your marker.
2. Don't make a spiral. (That's a fan favorite.  Place the marker in the middle of the board and then spin it as fast as you can.  It makes a spiral.  Earth shattering, I tell ya.)
3. Don't play hangman or any other kind of game while we're doing sentences.
4. Don't leave "special" messages for the next person to find that gets the board.

So many things I've learned.  Today when we were doing this activity, one of my students who doesn't do so well, wrote me this instead of the answer:

UR A QT

And then said, "Do you get it?  Hahahaha."  I said, "Oh dear goodness."

Adele

I can't decide if listening to her is cathartic or sadistic currently.  Regardless, the Brit can sing.  And this article was interesting about it:  http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203646004577213010291701378.html?mod=wsj_share_tweet

Things I'm enjoying as of late:

1. Mad Men
2. Fab.com
3. Wine
4. Conversations with friends, both new and old.
5. Black skinny work pants from the Gap
6. The motto "You can do anything for a day, one day at a time."
7. Saying an occasional swear word because it makes me laugh.

Dia de San Valentin

I find it funny that making Spanish Valentine's, no matter what your age, seems to be the highlight of your Spanish class.  So either you can be  philosophical about this and say, "Everyone likes to access their inner child," or you be cynical and say, "I don't think my class is very interesting if this is the highlight."  I think it's a mix of both.  :)  Regardless, everyone loves it, especially when I bust out the coloring sheets.  I figure they're already kind of zoo-y anyway so you may as well make a day of it.  Especially when all the Spanish Valentine balloons get delivered, which inevitably makes me think of Mean Girls when they pass out the candy canes.  "And none for Gretchen Wieners!"

So, suffice it to say that the fun they have doing this silly little project actually makes it worth the 9000 questions I've been asked about my personal life that make me want to die.  But I've found that my short, honest answer shuts them up with shame for asking pretty nicely.  :)

If you...

Decide to steal your friend's phone
Or change the lock code on your friend's phone
Or send another student in class 100 texts (literally)

I will use the phrase "You are pissing me off."

Not my best moment. But true.

uh oh

This is what happens when you try to open your broccoli forcefully and without a scissors.  All I wanted was a snack.

a new name

Or another saga in the life of teenage boys.  I have some lovely students every morning and one of the things they "aren't allowed to do" is call one another by the name of the girl the other one is interested in.  Mainly I say it's not allowed because one of the girls is in the class and seriously, how embarrassing.  Oh yes, and these three also fake "crack their voice" to make fun of one another when it actually happens.

So after we had that conversation the other day about being disruptive (read: you're pissing me off so stop it), they generally stopped but just couldn't hold it in at the end of class.  And called me Jake.  And then decided they were going to start calling all of their teachers by their significant others' names.  I just rolled my eyes and told them they were annoying.

However, I will say that at least they're using names which is more than I can say for the other blogs that I read.  What is with the recent obsession of calling their husbands "hubs"??  It.drives.me.crazy.  At first it was like, "Oh, clever, I guess..." but then I see it 100 times in print and I end up with the following conclusions:  A. He has a name. You could just use that.  B. We probably know that name because we read your blog every day. C. It's definitely the new "cool" word to use.  It's okay if you disagree.  This annoyance gets filed under the tab of hating when people use acronyms like "GBR" or shorten things to "ppl, pry, ikr, lol, prolly, gonna" etc.

First class

Well, I went to my first English grad class on Wednesday.  Here were my observations so far:

1. I'm glad it waited to get "freeze-your-face-off" cold until I had to walk across campus for the first time in 5 years.  I only said the f word 5 times.  As a positive, I still remember where all of the heat grates are on campus so you can get that burst of hot hair flying at you every 20 feet or so.  It makes the walk bearable.  Almost. I mean the wind still brought tears to my eyes and like I said, it still induced me to swear.

2.  It was your standard fare of grad students in the class.  You had your token foreign student, your token one guy, your token overly-enthusiastic and academically pretentious Ph.D student who thought EVERYTHING was so interesting and then your token I-know-I'm-not-going-to-care-for-you-because-you-think-you're-really-smart-and-I-think-you're-only-23, very abrasive girl as well.

3.  What I just found out on email is that the latter student is going to be my partner for our group presentation.  Isn't life funny?  So now I'm going to have to get to know her and stop judging her after only 3 hours of class.  At least we're both interested in the same topic:  children's theatrical productions and other literary works from the 19th century.  Maybe she'll be nicer than I thought.  Or maybe I'll have to hold my tongue every time I want to make a snotty comment about her Master's in "creative writing."  Bleh.

4. I really love my professor so far.  Granted, she did come to class wearing a very large sweater with a dragon woven on the front but she seems pretty lovely despite that.  And yes, I also assessed the rest of my classmates and determined that 80% of them probably needed some form of a makeover.  I mean, we get it, you're smart.  I like being smart, too.  But this girl still runs a brush through her hair and puts on mascara and concealer every day.  And doesn't wear cargo capris with her boots when it's negative 45 out.  Or ever for that matter.

5. Who knew people could know so much about so much crap?  And I'm saying that in an awed sort of way, not in a disgusted kind of way.  I'm kind of inspired.  But that will probably go away as I continue to read for 12 hours a week or more.  I think I should quit my job and become a professional student like the rest of them.

So there you have it. Oh yes, and I learned quite a bit already.  But I blog about the things that fly into my head that I probably shouldn't say out loud to people I don't know.  Thus, you have my commentary on physical attributes as well as my snobby digressions.  I already used all of my good thoughts about wet-nurses and the human's innate ability to love in class, ok?  Oh yeah, and a few comments about the horrific practice of swaddling in the 17th century.  I'm getting my full 10% credit of participation!  So take that, clicky Ph.D students.

Oh one more thing.  I also made it quite clear that I hate the nursery rhyme, "Jack and Jill".  We read it in class and discussed its origin and how everyone still knows it even though it's so old.  I chimed in  about how it gets sung to me often and how many people ask me where Jack is.  Or if they find out I'm dating a Jake, you can almost guarantee they're going to say something incredibly clever such as, "Ohhh!  Jake and Jill! Like Jack and Jill!  Did he fetch a pail of water yet?"  I generally courtesy laugh at that and say expletives in my head.

Hey, Ash or Patterz

If you wanted to paint me these, I wouldn't mind.  Or teach me how to do it.  But I think the former would be less annoying for you...

Images taken from here.  (And in case you were wondering how I'm blogging during work, it's my reward when I get something done while they're taking a massive quiz.)

I want a typewriter

And I have no idea why but I want one.  And then I want to type letters on it and send them to people.  Because it sounds fun.  And I'll probably wear my glasses and drink some coffee while I do so.  I'm inspired:

Pictures from here.  And you should sign up for that site.  (Ahem, Tabitha and Ashley.)

You be the judge

We did some projects about what everyone did over their break and then they had to present them.  I'll translate to English and then you decide what kind of student this is, female or male, and then what his/her extracurricular activities are based on what he/she wrote about.  Here goes:

I got a purse for Christmas.
I drank Diet Coke.
I went to Panera.
I talked to my friends on the phone.
I went to the nail salon.

Ok, now guess...

Did you guess superstar basketball player?  No?
Ok, I'll just tell you because you'll never get it.  Yes, it's a girl.  Yes, she's  a cheerleader.  Yes, she's super cute. And yes, she's a little spoiled.  Hahahaha.  For some reason, the whole thing just made me laugh.

Lindsey Adams--did you join my Spanish class and I didn't know it???

Feliz Navidad!

Ok, so I know it's late but this is me (duh) modeling my new apron from my sweet cousin, Victoria, and of course, that shiny red thing is my new Kitchenaid mixer from Yake.  (As Ashley likes to refer to Jake.)

I.love.it.  Like probably more than I should.  And eventually I should stop making exclamatory remarks every time I use it.  Which is every 3 days or so.  

P.s. I 'm not only wearing the apron...there's a dress on underneath, it just looks vair vair short due to the apron bunching it up.  I would never be sans clothes in my apartment...hahahahaha.  

I'm THAT teacher

That makes one of her most annoying (and obnoxiously disruptive) students sit by his girlfriend in class.  She got moved to his section but she was gone today and he was complaining that it was his assigned seat, next to her.  To which I replied, "Well, perhaps she'll keep you under control."  And then he complained that it would be awkward if they broke up.  I agreed but made no promises to switch him.  I'll try anything at this point.  Oh yeah, and I also think it's funny.

a thought from 2 weeks ago

Why do I always wait til the "way past expiration date/this is morbidly disgusting/it may be a forest" time to shave my legs?  Anyone else?  Just me?  To be fair to myself, it's a little difficult to do so in my shower.  But in the spirit of fairness, I also have a roommate who would let me use her shower anytime to accomplish said task.  Therefore, some reminders for 2012 in the area of shaving my legs:

1. Do not wait until it hurts to put on leggings.  Srsly, Jill.  Be a lady.
2. No amount of fancy shaving cream or razors will entice you to do so more often so stop buying them.  General shower gel and the pink daisy razors will always be your best bet.  Remember that.
3. If you can see the hair on your legs without bending over, it's past the due date.  Waaaay past.
4. As an addendum to #3, if you can also see that it can lay different directions based on where your socks were, it's too long.
5. It doesn't actually keep you warmer.  You're just lazy.

You know what I don't get the most?  How I can be so anal-retentive about never letting the towel that touches my body ever touch my face but in the general area of leg and nail hygiene I'm a total scurve.  It's a word.  I think.

Hi, again, bloggy friends!

Yes, it's been like a million years.  So sorry.  Really I am.  But well...life happened.  And some of it was good and some of it wasn't and work in general was just a general "let's pretend first semester didn't happen" kind of situation.   But alas, it's  a new year and new semester (but sadly not new students) and here we are again.

I've had many moments where I've thought, "Ah! I should blog about that!"  But then I don't.  I'm going to work on that this semester.  I'm guessing it will help that I don't have rehearsal every day after school.  However, I did decide to take a grad class for the first time during my working months, so that could be interesting.  I'm pretty excited about it.  It's called "19th Century British Children's Literature" to which my sister replied upon hearing about it, "Oh wow.  I'd rather drink cat pee."  Thankfully, I do not share her sentiments.

Now you may be thinking, "What does that have to do with Spanish?"  It doesn't.  Nor does it have to do with teaching.  Well, not really.  Or rather, not yet.  I'm taking it to see if I'd like to pursue a Master's or Doctoral degree in English.  And then maybe teach English. Or not. Or change jobs. Or stay at my current one doing both.  Who knows?  It's quite a ways off and I don't apply until next January of 2013 (where they accept around 20 of 200 I might add), so we'll see.  But I do know that I want to further my education because I'm nerdy like that, and unlike my sister, it does not make me want to ingest feline urine.  Rather quite the opposite.  I actually had a difficult time choosing a class because so many of them made me excited.  P.s. Ask me how cool I think this class is after I write and read my eyeballs out every week...that will be the true test.

So then, it's back to school.  And apparently the trade off for not having rehearsal anymore is giving up almost every Saturday for the next 2 months for show choir competitions.  What in the...Guess I'll have lots to blog about regarding sequins, bad dance moves, and overly enthusiastic show choir kids in the very near future...