Thanksgiving Recap

Today I went to 2 Thanksgivings and saw somewhere in the neighborhood of 85 people.  I'm craving some alone time after that.

Did you know....
That I don't like it when you tell me how dilated your cervix is?
That I also don't want to be set up with someone who IS NOT EVEN LEGALLY DIVORCED??
That apparently family get togethers are great places for people to set you up?

Explanation to above comments:

First, without fail, at every family gathering, one of my uncles asks me if I've found a doctor yet. I say no and he tells me I need to hang out on East Campus at the dental school.  I'm not kidding when I say we have this same conversation every time I see him.

Second, the cervix one really doesn't need further explanation other than she kept saying, "WE are dilated to 2 cm."  No, your husband is not dilated.  He does not have those parts.  Also, if you have to tell everyone that, maybe you should go home and eat spicy food instead of the bland turkey so the baby comes faster.  Either way, go home so I don't have to hear about it.  SICK.

Third, at 2nd family get together, my cousin Maggie tells me about 2 cute boys she wants me to meet because they're my age.  (Maggie is 22 and I'm ancient because I'm 26.)  The first one she tells me about is of course, CUTE, in her opinion, and really wants to move back to Cozad and own his own business.  I say, "No thank you."  So then she comes up with Mr. Already a Dentist, and he's great because well, he's a dentist, and he's cute.  And DIVORCED.  I say, "Hey, Mags, no offense, but it's not like I'm knocking down the door of 40 here.  Can we try to stick to options where they haven't been married yet?  Or at least divorced for a longer period of time?"  Fast forward to an hour later, where she brings it up again, and it comes out that he's not actually divorced yet, but separated.  I pitch a fit at the table of indignant laughter and say again, "No thank you."  And then she mutters something about how he's cute and how he bought his soon-to-be ex-wife a boob job.  Neat.

20 minutes later.  My 2nd cousin-in-law's sister (yeah, did you follow that?  Point of story:  not blood related, nor related to me at all), asks in conversation, "Wait are you single?"  I say yes, why, etc. and she asks how old I am, etc.  She apparently has a son who's my age that lives in Lincoln.  She and her husband live on the beach in Puerto Rico.  She later finds out I like Spain, she still thinks I need to meet her son, etc.  Point of story:  She has my number to give to her son.  I mean, seriously.  In the word of Ashley after she finds out, "Only you would get a blind date out of a family gathering."  True story.

And then I went to see Love and Other Drugs with my aunt and cousins and I'm now awaiting a phone call to see if  my aunt is dragging me to Black Friday early tomorrow morning, er, this morning, I guess.  I'm not going to lie, I went last year, and I LOVED the hype of it all.  I would just run to large groups of people gathered around a bin, ask what we were going for and jump in.  It was awesome.  I wasn't after anything in particular, just the laughs from my sister.  I also bought stuff but I could probably have bought the same stuff later in the month.

Also, did you know I read my posts and if I find grammar errors, I will re-publish the post?  Yes, I'm pedantic like that.  And yes, I first thought about being an English teacher.  And yes, I re-published this post.