Excuses excuses!

A sampling as I'm putting in homework grades because we apparently forgot how to get things done on time while I was gone.  But my "make you feel really bad" tactics are back because let's be honest, putting in late grades is super annoying.  For reference, I make them fill out a "blue slip" when they don't do their homework and they can check why they didn't do it (forgot, didn't have my stuff, just didn't finish, etc.) or other and then explain.  Other is the choice 90% of the time because then they get to write things like this with my comments back:

Excuse:  "Well, since third world countries are poor the UN sent me on a peace mission to help them, but it took longer than expected so I didn't get it done."
Me:  I'll give you full credit if you can tell me 3 countries that have uprisings right now.  Or even name me 5 3rd world countries in general.

Excuse:  "I fell into a volcano.  I got about a third of it done."
Me:  Tell me the nearest active volcano and I'll give you points back.  Also, did the volcano distract you a 1/3 of the way through?

Excuse:  "Why??  I forgot and spaced it totally off.  Opps!!"
Me:  Let's learn how to not end sentences with unnecessary prepositions and also learn how to spell "oops."  (Ok, I'm not actually going to write that one...)

Excuse:  "I thought we needed pictures from a magazine or internet...my printer doesn't work.
Me:  The printer is ALWAYS not working at EVERYONE's house.  Please!  If you have a functioning printer at home, let me know where you got it and I will pass along that brand to everyone else because you have a found a real gem apparently.  Something no other household in the Norris district possesses, clearly.

Excuse:  "Hiiiii.  :)  I didn't do the pics Weezy"
Me:  Ok, that's not even an explanation.  Thank you for that. (But it did make me laugh.)

Excuse:  "Didn't know."  (And then signs his name all over the page.  Because they all spend more time on their signature than actually writing the reason.)
Me:  We better get your hearing checked by the health aide then because I only said it 7 times.  And then asked everyone before they walked out the door, "What's due??"  Kill me.